Childless Muslims are leading us to redefine the meaning of marriage. Their experiences question the supposed authorization of polygamy in the Qur’an.
In a previous article, I wrote about the purpose of marriage, which is not procreation, but rather a loving relationship between two complementary partners offering each other mutual support. (Surah 30:21)
However, today, with the support of religious scholars, many Muslims consider procreation to be the purpose of marriage. They therefore legitimize divorce in the event of infertility or sterility of one of the partners. In most cases, the woman is the one left behind, she turns into an interchangeable piece.
Polygamy, a false solution to infertility
Polygamy is the other solution advocated in many communities to compensate for the supposed infertility of women . The husband is sometimes forced, under pressure from his family, to take a second or even a third wife in order to respect a tradition or belief attributed to Islam: the obligation to perpetuate the family name or to procreate a son.
In such a scenario, only the man gets another chance to have a child. On the other hand, in the opposite case, the woman is strongly encouraged to support her infertile companion and remain married; In this way, she would demonstrate her proof of love. In this scheme, the woman exists solely to meet the emotional and physical needs of her spouse.
In other words, the sufferings related to infertility or sterility, experienced and shared initially as a couple , becomes the woman’s ordeal if her husband unites with a second wife or separates from her.
The solution of polygamy leads to painful situations for both women and men who do not wish to take another spouse. Women married in order to compensate for the infertility of a first wife do not benefit from the right granted by the Qur’an: love, compassion, complementarity and mutual support. They are then reduced to the sole function of their uterus.
Not only does polygamy invalidate the primary notion of marriage, but it also leads to the disarray of women and men; this contradicts the spirit of the Qur’an, which seeks only ease and respect for human beings.
Is polygamy really allowed?
The Qur’an guarantees fairness and equality between men and women, however in the case of an infertile couple only the man is supposed to be able to marry another partner. It is therefore reasonable to conclude that if the Qur’an had instituted this solution, the woman would also have obtained it .
Many scholars and theologians question the alleged permissibility of polygamy in Surah Women (Surah 4:3). Some rely on verse 129 of the same surah « You will never be able to treat your wives with equal fairness » to[1] argue that it is impossible to treat many wives fairly. Verse 4 of Surah 33 is used as a further argument to explain the impossibility of loving wives in the same way.
« God does not put two hearts within a man’s breast »[2] (S 33:4)
Others, finally, directly attack the lexicographical analysis of verse 3 of Surah The Women. They establish that the verse is intended to denounce and suppress polygamy, not to recommend and codify it. [3] Dr. al-Ajami demonstrates, for example, that the verse draws a parallel between the injustice done to orphans and the injustice of polygamy.
The more childless people talk about the injustices and mental and emotional difficulties of polygamy, the more seriously Muslims will consider studying verse 3 of Surah Women. They will then be able to decide in good conscience whether the prevailing understanding really corresponds to the spirit of the Qur’an.
© Photo credit: Unsplach- Hasan Almasi
About the author
I am a French Muslim author with a passion for Islam. I studied Islam in a traditional and academic setting. My interest in the subjects of childlessness began over 10 years ago.
[1] The Qur’an, A New translation by M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, Oxford, 2011
[2] The Qur’an, A New translation by M.A.S. Abdel Haleem, Oxford , 2011
[3] Dr. Alajami; « La polygamie selon le Coran et en Islam »; alajami.fr
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