« Families only », « family friendly », « bring your family », « he/she has a family now! », « come with your family! », « I have my own family » … You have seen or heard these expressions. These expressions, in our time, discriminate. The reason is simple: the word family regularly refers to a couple with at least one child or a single parent.
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By Divine command[1], the wives of the Prophet’ after his death remained unmarried. Some of them have lived a long life, single. Therefore, it seems implausible that Muslim communities, like societies in general, discredit celibacy and belittle single people.
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« S’en remettre à la volonté divine », c’était l’un des thèmes de la World Childless Week 2022.
La volonté divine, impossible de l’oublier dans nos communautés musulmanes, on le rappelle avec enthousiasme dans nos interjections : inshaAllah(Si Dieu le veut), mashaAllah(Ce que Dieu veut), fisabillilah(Dans le chemin de Dieu). On répète ces expressions dans certains cas en de nombreuses occasions. Nous considérons le Divin omnipotent. On loue Dieu l’unique.
Le shirk, autrement dit, associer au Divin des partenaires, représente LE péché impardonnable. On s’en croit prémuni, bien sûr ; qui associerait quelqu’un à Dieu dans les communautés musulmanes ?
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Despite the title of « mother of believers, » some Prophet’s wives lived childless.
This expression « mother of believers » comes from the Qur’an (Sura 33 verse: 6). This name makes the wives of the Prophet Muhammad illegitimate as a wife after his death. The term « mother » becomes symbolic.
The prophet’s wives have the status of maternal figures, even if among them some have never given birth. This is sobering: the title of « mother » can be given without childbirth.
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Childless and Childfree Muslim women and men, speak out! Make yourself heard anonymously or not, but let people know how you feel. No one will express it for you. No one can guess if one does not live it.
Family and friends can surround childless men and women; especially women childless by circumstance, without suspecting what they are going through: multiple miscarriages, returning from hospital without the child they carried for months. They don’t know what it feels like to sit in a waiting room in the gynaecological ward next to pregnant women with their partners when you are unsuccessfully trying to conceive a child or are prevented from doing so by illness.
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Have a child or remain one[1]
In a book explaining Islam to children and teenagers it stated that it is the duty of Muslim women to be mothers. I was surprised that the author, a non-Muslim, had grasped what few of us seem to acknowledge openly: that Muslim women are compelled to be mothers, even though it is not an Islamic requirement.
In order to challenge this discourse, we need to examine the status of motherhood and childlessness within an Islamic framework. How has the Islamic legal system led Muslims to believe that women’s only function is childbearing? This re-examination means re-evaluating the status of motherhood, children and parents, and, to some extent, the role of marriage. It must lead to a reflection on the ethics of reproduction: how far should we support the thinking of obligation to have a child?
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Victim of a curse or source of evil eye for parents? Initially considered victims of the evil eye, childless women (the evil eye is often combined with the feminine!) after a certain age, are considered as the transmitter of the curse. They are therefore to be avoided.
In some Muslim communities, conceiving children is an obligation. Many Muslims are convinced that it is a baraka, at best a divine reward. These same people explain the absence of children by a punitive action of the Divine. With this in mind, the family or parents of a newborn child dread visits from a childless woman or a childless man .
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Should we not turn this «when » into « if » you have children. « if » instead of «when» would change little girls’ perspectives, it would save them from suffering linked to this « when » . Everything would seem possible for them.
We teach children, especially girls, the role which is assigned to them as a good wife and above all, a mother. They must intend to conceive children whether they wish for it or not. Parents, parents’ friends and the girls’ surrouding ensure this intention is enforced by repeating this mantra « when you have children! » which she will hear throughout her life until the end of her reproductive cycle.
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Interchangeable the words faith and hope are frequently used in crises situations : « have hopes » « keep the faith »
However these express two differents feelings. Hope expresses the expectation of something. Faith is based on trust in someone, in religious context trust in God.
Often in Islamic context, faith means the conviction that everything will be well and that everything will happen for the best for each of us. Nonetheless,having faith does not prevent us from experiencing sadness , pain, doubts and anger.
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DISCUSSIONS ESSENTIELLES 