What has changed since I wrote Single childless Muslim women[1]?
I should have written the answer a year ago. Because a year ago marked the anniversary of the publication of the article on childless Muslim women for an American Muslim lifestyle magazine.
When I wrote this text, I had already been thinking about the subject for several years . I had discovered the sites Gateway women by Jody Day[2], Femme sans enfant by Catherine-Emmanuelle Deslile[3], the site the NotMom by Karen Malone Wright and Laura Lavoix which brought together the stories of women without children by circumstances and by choice. Finally, I was reading the articles of Melanie Notkin, [4] a woman in her forties who was heading towards the destiny of a woman without children by circumstance.
My intention in making the decision to submit the text to the magazine was to prepare Muslim women for the possibility that despite their dream of having children, they might never have any.
This text sparked a great deal of reaction and discussion.
5 years after its publication, I launched this blog, Discussions Essentielles, because despite the article going viral, I felt that the subject was still not discussed enough.
10 years on, are we ready?
10 years later, it is clear that the subject of childless women due to life circumstances remains a taboo in our Muslim communities. However, the stories of people without children by choice is gradually coming out of the shadows thanks to social networks. Eleven years ago, I was invited to a radio station to discuss my article, a Muslim couple without children by choice also took part, assured that their anonymity would be respected. Today, couples no longer hesitate to speak out openly.
When the subject of women without children by circumstance is raised, it is all too often framed in terms of solutions to the situation. Everyone offers options for becoming a parent; few articles or sermons address the acceptance of a childless life and the happiness possible without children.
This is probably what explains the almost constant unease of those I speak to when I announce that I am writing about childless people. I don’t specify whether they are without children by choice or by circumstances, I don’t announce it with sadness and yet the person I am speaking to closes up and is often embarrassed.
Breaking the taboo surrounding the subject
To avoid embarrassment and awkwardness, the subject must be dealt with head-on. Being childless is not an illness.
Whilst the subject remains on the fringes in Muslim communities, in society at large documentaries, podcasts by people who are without children by choice and by circumstances are becoming increasingly visible.
In France, the documentary by radio and television host Enora Malagré Pourquoi t’as pas d’enfant ? (Why don’t you have a child?) has enabled the subject to be covered in the most prominent newspapers and magazines in France. A huge success on television, the documentary opened the debate among the general public about the realities of women without children by choice and by circumstances.
I like to believe that Muslim communities will move in this direction, and that one day we will talk about it more freely.
Conditions for freeing the voice of childless Muslim women
That said, this day will only come when we have the courage in our communities to question the fabrications of the status of Muslim women that are diametrically opposed to what the Qu’ran intends.
When we understand that the good health and functionality of a uterus do not dictate woman’s worth and role.
When we finally admit that the desire to conceive children is not innate, that it is not intrinsic to the female body.
When we highlight the childless Muslim women of the time of the Prophet Muhammad and beyond.
When everyone accepts the expression of the Divine will expressed in verses 49-50 of Sura 42.
Here is a reminder of the rector-imam Abdelghani Benali of the Al-Hashimi Mosque in Saint-Ouen-sur-Seine, Ile de France issued for World Childless Week in September 2025.
In our tradition, the trials of sterility, celibacy or the loss of a child is evoked with great sensitivity. The Qur’an reminds us that it is God who « grants girls to whom He wills, and boys to whom He wills. Or He gives both boys and girls, and He makes whomever He wills barren » (Sura 42, verses 49-50). This diversity of human situations is never a diminution of dignity, but rather a trial inscribed in the divine decree and an opportunity to draw closer to the Creator.
© Canva
To go further
The Making of Social Infertility in Muslim Communities
Childless and Childfree Muslim Women and Men, Make Your Voice Heard !
Original text Sans enfant et musulmane : ce qui a changé en 10 ans
Translation by Discussions Essentielles and DeepL
About the author
I am a French Muslim author with a passion for Islam. I studied Islam in a traditional and academic setting. My interest in the subjects of childlessness began over 10 years ago.
[1] Single Childless Muslim Women, by Fatima Adamou, altmuslimah.com
[2] Jodie Day, psychotherapist, considered the founder of the movement of childless women by circumstance in the English-speaking world.
[3] Catherine – Emmanuelle Deslile is a therapist, her website Femmes sans enfant is THE reference site for French-speaking people without children.
[4] Melanie Notkin, Otherhood: Modern Women Finding a New Kind of Happiness, 2014
DISCUSSIONS ESSENTIELLES 